the abridged man's jutsus

puppy killing smile – channeling the chakra within his smile he may create a smile so out of character that puppies die somewhere in the world and the sympathy goes to whom he chooses creating that target to get affected and distracted by that sympathy

summoning of the gummy bears and easter bunny – channeling chakra he may summon the most deadly most and mortifying creatures possible....gummy bears and their ring leader the easter bunny to swarm the target of choice (no the gummy bears are not actually made of gummy candy, the cartoon series version of the gummy bears)

cgi chihuahua torture – at the target of his choice he may make a song constantly play in the targets mind with cgi chihuahuas messing constantly and pestering with the targets mind torturing him with live Disney action!

the blue screen of death!!!! - sending chakra at the target of his choice he may force the target of his choice to see nothing but the blue screen of death (“aaah the blue screen of death, my mortal enemy” - kaiba)

ghost nappa – summoning the ghost of nappa the strategy here is for ghost nappa a mere illusionary ghost is to get on the targets every single last nerve while haunting the target, while being haunted the ghost nappa is only visible and heard by the target or targets

the ghecko ninjas – channeling chakra he may summon the worlds most worst ninjas at stealth yet because of how loud they shout the mere volume hurts the targets ears with extreme pain (“WHERE THE GHECKO NINJAS! THERES NO NEED TO SHOUT! YOUR THE ONE WHO'S SHOUTING! WHERE THE MOST STEALHTIEST NINJAS EVER!!!!!!” -ghecko ninjas)




kung fu action Jesus mode – going into this mode his jutsus become 2 times as powerful, he gains the ability to walk on water and gains a master's skill in martial arts. In this mode his eyes glow blue while markings all over his body do as well plus as a side effect this song plays from a mysterious source
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPn2rJyyTcw

Gaara of the funk blessing – by channeling his chakra and saying the activation words “gaara of the funk” he may send ddr arrows directly toward targets of his choice. As a side effect upon saying it the following sounds from a mysterious source (ummcha ummcha ummcha ummcha Gaara of the funk)

Clucky summoning – channeling his chakra he may summon a giant chicken named clucky, his size may also vary and be summoned as a regular sized chicken

one foot tall brick wall drop – channeling his chakra he may summon a one foot tall brick wall to drop down on the target of his choice

LOGGED! - using a replacement jutsu he may do the ever popular log replacement to as they say “log” a character

blown up school solution – by blowing up a school image he may get better temporarily at anything he so chooses but only one thing

voice power – by channeling chakra and speaking odd as a side effect he gains “super strength”

this is sparta!!!!- by channeling chakra and saying “this is madness” the target of choice feels the urge to yell “this is sparta!!!!!!” thereby revealing their location to the user

short people- channeling his chakra he may become 20 times his size as a side effect of this jutsu short people by randy newman plays in the local area by some mysterious force while this is activated

duke devlin – channeling his chakra he may change the look of his face to be almost irresistible to the target/targets he chooses and as a side effect duke devlin's theme plays from a mysterious source

invisible guns – using this he may fire real forces that are invisible yet the sound it makes is bang, bang, bangity bang. Usually taken as a joke til they are hit with the invisible bullets

the fangirls – he may summon thousands of very minor spirits of fan girls who squeel extremely loudly for the user whom is immune to the squeal sound making it only able to be heard by the target or targets

epic pouting maneuver – channeling this the urge to feel sorry for the user is forced on to targets of the users choice. Triggered by a pout

Kaiba Wheeler? Like the two people from yu-gi-oh? Lmao XD

XD yeah iw as running low on name ideas XD deal with it or i shall shoot u with my invisible guns XD

btw if any1 is curious and wondering this or similar to this. yes i based all his jutsus off jokes said in abridged series that i could turn into a potential combat jutsu